Rogue Valley, Oregon
Be strong, but be vulnerable. Take the lead, but don't be controlling. Provide for your family, but don't miss the moments that matter. Speak your mind, but be careful not to offend.
Somewhere along the way, being a man became a moving target.
Men are increasingly criticized as a whole, held responsible for the harms of the past and present. At the same time, the expectations keep shifting. Be assertive, but don't be too forceful. Be sensitive, but don't be weak. It's easy to end up walking on eggshells, wondering what kind of man you're supposed to be.
Maybe you've learned to handle everything yourself, keep your feelings to yourself, and not ask for much. Maybe you've become the nice guy, putting everyone else's needs ahead of your own. Or maybe you've doubled down on trying to be strong, certain, and in control.
Rejecting the old model is one thing. Developing the capacity to live differently is another.
I believe we can hold on to the virtues worth carrying forward while questioning the expectations that no longer serve us. Strength and vulnerability. Conviction and openness. Independence and intimacy. These aren't contradictions we need to resolve by choosing one side. They're capacities we can learn to hold in one breath.
But this takes practice. It takes honest feedback, the willingness to look at ourselves, and other men who can challenge us, support us, and walk alongside us.
Men's work offers a place to do that. To build real connection, get more honest about what we need, and develop a way of being a man that feels grounded, alive, and true to who we are.
We don't have to return to the past or follow someone else's prescription for the future. We can learn from what came before, do the work of our own growth, and help shape what comes next.
Learning to notice what's happening in your body before you react. Using breath, movement and somatic practices to slow things down, regulate your nervous system and stay present when you're under pressure.
Learning to name what you're feeling, feel it without shutting down or being overwhelmed, and understand what it's pointing to. Then learning to choose what you do with it instead of acting it out or pushing it away.
Learning how to stay engaged when things get uncomfortable. Practicing speaking honestly, listening without defensiveness, setting boundaries, receiving feedback, handling conflict and letting other men actually see you.
Learning to know what you want without being controlled by it or ashamed of it. Understanding your patterns around sex, attraction, porn and intimacy, and developing the ability to act on desire consciously rather than compulsively.
Learning to separate what you actually value from what you've been told you should value. Getting clear on what you stand for, what matters enough to organize your life around, and whether the way you're living matches the man you say you want to be.
Listen, learn and join the conversation around sex, business, relationships, purpose, spirituality, soul and the intersection of mental, emotional and physical health.
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"One of the most powerful exchanges I’ve experienced in embodiment work. Soma held and led a magnificent and transformative father healing ritual practice which I participated in. I am a regular practitioner and this experience healed much of the residual energetic pain that had stood in the way of my relationship with my father, who passed some ten years ago."
"This practice allowed me to go deep into thoughts and feelings that I had pushed away for many years. I felt the healing of old wounds and a reconnection to my father as a real, flawed human. I felt safe and held throughout, allowing me to play all out."
"This work challenged me to feel empowered and capable to live anchored in courage, honesty, authenticity, and consistently be driven towards self-mastery."
"The optimism and hope that I feel in my bones has me wake up early, jumping out of bed and ready to tackle whatever the day will throw my way. I'm a new man."
"When you work with Soma, you join a container of support that can elevate everything you do to the next level. He leads by example and lives the work. He is dedicated to supporting men to step forward into their embodied, empowered, highest selves."
"The program met and exceeded all expectations. I wanted to heal from the loss of a relationship and the emotional fallout. I now approach my relationships with a new sense of integrity and don't compromise my needs."
"The challenge was an amazing experience to go through. It broadened my horizon of what I'm capable of. More over however, it reminded me that I am not alone in my struggles."
"The 7 day masculine reset was a great experience. The lessons I learned have really helped me identify gaps in my own life and provided me with some of the tools needed to build stronger and more conscious male friendships. I recommend this work for anyone that wants to experience what it is to be part of a mature masculine community."
"Truly a grounding and growth-oriented experience for me. I feel like a new version of myself. I want to keep the growth moving forward."
